When my friend was in fourth grade her teacher asked for an example of irony, and she answered “Harry Potter searching for the final horcrux, but he is the final horcrux” and her teacher started screaming and said “I DIDN’T FINISH THE BOOK OH MY GOD!”
Babies are dicks
The blackest bird there ever was. It’s black on the outside from head to toe, and black on the inside with its meat and organs.
It’s called the Ayam Cemani from Indonesia, and they’re $2,500 a pop. Their bones are black, too. The only part of them that’s not black is their blood
The biggest, blackest cock
Sex on the Beach
And Finally, Swimming Pool
"No officer, for the last time, I did not smoke weed. Thats just my new perfume, cannabis flower"
when i have a crush on someone i can never tell if they have a mutual crush on me or if i’m just noticing and exaggerating every bit of attention i’m getting from them and amplifying it into something it’s not
Damn Family Guy may be stupid sometimes…but this shit is on. Point.
ah yes. my great teenage years. corresponding with strangers about music on a website and never getting dressed. sweet memories
would u rather eat a pound of bricks or a matter baby??
whats a matter baby
nothing sweetie whats a matter with you??
I did not see that coming
dylan o’brien is the reason the heart eye emoji was created